Concerned British students have been reassured that sanctions taken against Russia will not affect the price of Tamova vodka, with the drink still available for a liver-watering £15 a litre at Aldi.
Following his "my button is bigger than yours" rhetoric, military advisors have distracted Donald Trump by installing a Space Invaders arcade machine in the White House situation room.
Passports weren't the only thing changing colour as Remainers were left red faced following the announcement that post-Brexit British passports will be reverting back to blue, proving Brexit was the right decision after all.
A United Nations team of electoral observers is being sent to 'the tent' to oversee the latest round of Bake Off elections after Prue Leith announced the winner before tonight's show had even aired.
Following his suggestion to grow more food in response to a possible Brexit-induced food crisis, Environment Secretary Chris Grayling has presented yet another foolproof solution, this time completely fixing the UK economy.