Britain's productivity crisis attributed to "piss-taking"

Britain's productivity problems have been attributed to employees "taking the absolute piss" according to a recent study.

Figures this week revealed economic growth was higher than expected but productivity was still struggling. The independent study revelead that when you discount X Factor gossip, Game of Thrones chat, whatsapp use and fag breaks, employees average 3 hours of work per day. The figure drops to just 30 minutes of actual work when you exclude emailing.

No employees anywhere were available to comment on the study as they were taking a long lunch "to run a few errands" but they promise to make it up later.