“Downhill office chairing” to be added to summer Olympics

Following the success of the skeleton, luge and bobsleigh events at the Winter Games, the International Olympic Committee has added “Pegging it down a multi-storey car park on an office chair” to the Toyko 2020 roster, hoping to satiate the public’s appetite for athletes precariously hurtling downhill.

A spokesperson for the IOC remarked, “It’s got everything we’re looking for: speed, fragile apparatus and very real risk of immediate death. It’s much more accessible too. I mean who has access to snow and mountain?! But a car park and an office chair – it opens the door to a lot of young athletes.”

This is not the only event inspired by the Winter Games to be added to the 2020 line-up, with other new events including: shuffling around the kitchen floor in your socks to music, sliding a Roomba down a bowling alley while sweeping, and fighting over a can of shoe polish with sticks.