Stinking cold says he's "looking forward" to ruining Christmas

A stinking winter cold has said he is ready and looking forward to ruining everyone's Christmas.

Sandra brought him to the office, but it is everyone else that will be taking him home, where he plans to lie in wait until approximately 11am on Saturday, in a pre-meditated and effective attempt to ruin your festive plans.

The cold commented, "I'll be gone so you're feeling better in time to come back to work on January 2nd, so what are you bloody moaning about?!"